Wednesday, December 3, 2014

8 ways to heal a relationship after a break up

8 ways to heal a relationship after a break up One thing that is rough to endure in life is a break up. Even more complicated is to split with someone you still care about. It has never been easy walking away from something you had high hopes in. So here are some few tips to help you salvage that relationship.

  Apologise It’s amazing how much an apology can mean in a relationship. To be able to mend the relationship after a break up it is prudent to be truly sorry for whatever wrongs or mistakes one has made. Leave your pride at the door and just say “I am sorry”. We normally take those words for granted in relationships and often don’t mean it when we say them. But a true heartfelt apology is the best remedy when all is said and done and it comes down to the one you love. For one to genuinely be sorry, you have to accept responsibility for the wrong that you did and come to terms with it that the relationship ended because of your mistake or what you did. Playing the blame game with the idea of mending a relationship will just create profound bitterness and total resentment. Mending a relationship after a break up is therefore more of humility and repentance than who was right and who was wrong.

  Compromise: One of the primary keys and challenging things to do when mending a relationship after a break up is compromise. It may not be enough just to apologise but you should be able to accept things that make your partner who he/she is and always remember the reasons you fell in love with them in the beginning. We definitely wouldn’t be in relationships if we didn’t close our eyes to some things our partners do. Trust me if you think your situation is bad, someone out there has it worse than you do. Analyse the relationship: To mend a relationship after a break up it is vital to take a step back and look at the relationship from a bird’s eye view. This is a critical phase and it should include all the neutrality that one can gather. Get started the old fashion way: list the pros and disadvantages of the relationship. Ask yourself the real difficult questions. Will it be better if we get back together? What am I getting out of this relationship? Am I willing to adjust? Another approach is to write down things you appreciate about your partner and things that you despise. This helps clear the air about specific things that typically would be devastating in the future.

  Communication: Communication is also vital when mending a relationship. Talk, Cry, Shout, do whatever it takes to relieve the pent up fury or bitterness. The number one justification that women give is that he did not communicate enough. Inform your spouse what you think and how you feel about their habits rather than silently letting resentment build up inside you. You and your partner should always talk frankly and honestly.

  Rebuilding trust: Rebuilding trust in order to mend a relationship after a break up is a gradual and complicated process. Both parties in the relationship no matter their innocence need to be prepared to let themselves trust again. One should entirely be transparent about their motives in order to fix the foundations of trust. To rebuild trust in a relationship, try as much as possible to keep the lines of communication transparent that is emails, phone calls, etc. There should be no secrets when there is an attempt to mend a relationship after a break up. Re-invent yourself: The relationship should not fall into the same old rut. Look for new tactics to get the relationship going and relight that flame. For instance attain a new wardrobe, attain a better job, do something different to avoid being the boring old fashion goat. Find a new vigour within yourself and believe me, you will have a much more rewarding relationship.

  Time: As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. In other words, do not imagine things to work themselves out in a couple of days. Ultimately, it’s much better to go slow when mending a relationship as compared to rushing back into things neither of you can understand. Take a break from one another and give yourself some time to do some soul searching. Reach inside yourself to find that inner peace and forgiveness that will make your relationship work again Seek Third opinion: Recruit the help of a trusted friend or a relationship counsellor. In mending your relationship after a break up, there should be someone during the process that is neutral on all fronts and able to see where love and hate are blocking the path. A relationship councillor can help to get the most important answers to the challenging questions when mending a relationship after a break up.

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