8 ways to heal a relationship after a break up

8 ways to heal a relationship after a break up One thing that is rough to endure in life is a break up. Even more complicated is to split with someone you still care about. It has never been easy walking away from something you had high hopes in. So here are some few tips to help you salvage that relationship.

  Apologise It’s amazing how much an apology can mean in a relationship. To be able to mend the relationship after a break up it is prudent to be truly sorry for whatever wrongs or mistakes one has made. Leave your pride at the door and just say “I am sorry”. We normally take those words for granted in relationships and often don’t mean it when we say them. But a true heartfelt apology is the best remedy when all is said and done and it comes down to the one you love. For one to genuinely be sorry, you have to accept responsibility for the wrong that you did and come to terms with it that the relationship ended because of your mistake or what you did. Playing the blame game with the idea of mending a relationship will just create profound bitterness and total resentment. Mending a relationship after a break up is therefore more of humility and repentance than who was right and who was wrong.

  Compromise: One of the primary keys and challenging things to do when mending a relationship after a break up is compromise. It may not be enough just to apologise but you should be able to accept things that make your partner who he/she is and always remember the reasons you fell in love with them in the beginning. We definitely wouldn’t be in relationships if we didn’t close our eyes to some things our partners do. Trust me if you think your situation is bad, someone out there has it worse than you do. Analyse the relationship: To mend a relationship after a break up it is vital to take a step back and look at the relationship from a bird’s eye view. This is a critical phase and it should include all the neutrality that one can gather. Get started the old fashion way: list the pros and disadvantages of the relationship. Ask yourself the real difficult questions. Will it be better if we get back together? What am I getting out of this relationship? Am I willing to adjust? Another approach is to write down things you appreciate about your partner and things that you despise. This helps clear the air about specific things that typically would be devastating in the future.

  Communication: Communication is also vital when mending a relationship. Talk, Cry, Shout, do whatever it takes to relieve the pent up fury or bitterness. The number one justification that women give is that he did not communicate enough. Inform your spouse what you think and how you feel about their habits rather than silently letting resentment build up inside you. You and your partner should always talk frankly and honestly.

  Rebuilding trust: Rebuilding trust in order to mend a relationship after a break up is a gradual and complicated process. Both parties in the relationship no matter their innocence need to be prepared to let themselves trust again. One should entirely be transparent about their motives in order to fix the foundations of trust. To rebuild trust in a relationship, try as much as possible to keep the lines of communication transparent that is emails, phone calls, etc. There should be no secrets when there is an attempt to mend a relationship after a break up. Re-invent yourself: The relationship should not fall into the same old rut. Look for new tactics to get the relationship going and relight that flame. For instance attain a new wardrobe, attain a better job, do something different to avoid being the boring old fashion goat. Find a new vigour within yourself and believe me, you will have a much more rewarding relationship.

  Time: As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. In other words, do not imagine things to work themselves out in a couple of days. Ultimately, it’s much better to go slow when mending a relationship as compared to rushing back into things neither of you can understand. Take a break from one another and give yourself some time to do some soul searching. Reach inside yourself to find that inner peace and forgiveness that will make your relationship work again Seek Third opinion: Recruit the help of a trusted friend or a relationship counsellor. In mending your relationship after a break up, there should be someone during the process that is neutral on all fronts and able to see where love and hate are blocking the path. A relationship councillor can help to get the most important answers to the challenging questions when mending a relationship after a break up.

3 Simple Ways to overcome a break up

Carry on important lessons from the previous relationship

If you have never been in an "unhealthy" relationship, you are either very young, quite new or super fortunate to have met the right person on your first relationship. If you are in any case in the last group, consider yourself among the lucky ones. It's also possible that you're a person who is extremely cautious that you are able to notice a terrible relationship before you get involved, and flee before it starts. 

For most people, bad relationships are simply a component of our growth process. They help to build our minds and to coach us on many things, such as:

What we actually want in a relationship.

What we would and won't tolerate.

What habits we need to improve.

How we permit other people to manipulate us.

So if you have been in a bad or unhappy relationship, compliment yourself - and ensure you understand and grow from the process.

Do not contact your Ex

Try to avoid your ex for at least 2-3 months. You shouldn't phone, you shouldn't visit. Do not return to take your toothbrush or your toaster, or anything that isn't really essential to your survival. Those things should wait until both of you have had the opportunity to chill out and get used to your split. Usually you will find out that you can easily live without those items or can replace them. If you must get something, do so with the help of a neutral person or third party. The first few months after the breakup are a time when you'll be feeling upset and insecure, annoyed or possibly guilty. At that moment, you would be in danger of getting involved in the same unhealthy relationship you left, and going back for something forgotten is very likely just an excuse for you to do so.

Just Say No to Rebounds

One of the last things you need after the end of a long-term relationship is a rebound affair. They almost always end terribly, with you experiencing much more guiltiness and disappointment than you may have typically. A whole lot worse if you're the one who first realizes that it’s a rebound, and then have issues getting rid of the other person.

Rebound relationships happen for the reason that we're frightened and unaccustomed to being alone. Finally, they are oftentimes unhealthy and predicated on a desire to feel love instead of a true partnership. If you have split up with your ex-lover because you wish to be with another person, I still advise that you give yourself some time in this new relationship. You are likely to notice that that relationship was merely a catalyst to help you escape the old relationship.

If you truly belong to this new person, your love for each other might stand the test of time apart. And if you truly care for them, your subsequent relationship is going to be secure if you give yourself time to see the patterns that made you fail in the previous.

Talk to a relationship councillor

One of the many ways to also heal from a break up is to speak to someone that you trust. You could speak to a friend or a relationship councillor. A relationship councillor can offer advice and help you to know what your feelings really are and to point out the things that you can’t point out yourself. You will be able to heal quickly when you speak to a councillor as they can help you to interpret your feelings and to figure out exactly what caused the break up in the first place. A relationship councillor can really tell whether the break up is from your partner, you or from both of you. They can also help you to either improve upon your good habits or do away with the bad ones that might have let you fail or separated you from your partner. One thing about speaking to someone you trust is that it also helps you to still maintain your discipline and think straightforward when your heart is in a mess. This can prevent you from going into another unhealthy relationship after your first one. 

Have you experienced a break up? Do you know anyone in a similar situation or have any idea on the topic? Do share your views on the topic below or subscribe for more articles and advice on relationships.